the titan arum.. the flower infamous for its terrible scent, yet people travel great distances just to witness it bloom. i think that says something rather lovely about you. most people choose flowers for their beauty alone. roses, lilies, orchids, things that are easy to admire. but the titan arum is different. it blooms rarely, strangely, almost grotesquely, and still it captures attention so completely that people cannot look away. perhaps you simply prefer honesty over prettiness. and that wish feels heavier than you make it sound, not beauty for others to praise.. but beauty untouched by such pain. no stitches. no scars. as if you're tired of proving you survived something before being allowed to feel beautiful afterwards. i do hope you find it one day. though I think scars are unfortunate little things, they tend to remain long after the wound has closed. sometimes on the skin. sometimes elsewhere. and to see me along the path? perhaps, though i imagine i would be easier to hear than to see.. though a firefly trapped in a jar.. that is a frighteningly gentle observation. people often mistake delicate things for defenseless ones. but thank you... for noticing me before the darkness required it. and if you truly possess an eagle's eye, then i suppose i should be careful around you, edith.

what an obnoxious answer..! (i see you cj im gutting you bro.)

oleanders are beautiful flowers, but beauty doesn't always mean kindness. they bloom brightly even in harsh conditions, admired from afar by others while carrying poison beneath their petals. i think that's why people fear them a little.. because something so lovely shouldn't be so dangerous. and yes, you are correct! i adore flowers, though they can be so strange. they bloom knowing they will not last forever, and yet they do so beautifully anyway.

orchids are delicate flowers, not weak, no... simply patient. they take time to bloom properly, and if they are forced too quickly, they wither before anyone truly sees their beauty. i think there is something comforting about that. to grow and create the projects you dreamed of as a child.. that is a rare kind of wish. most people abandon the things they once loved because the world convinces them those dreams are unrealistic, childish, or too fragile to survive adulthood. but you kept yours alive. i think that means a part of you refused to harden completely. even after growing older, even after disappointment, you still allowed yourself to imagine a future built from passion instead of survival alone.. that is difficult to do. dreams from childhood are strange things. they begin as something innocent, almost small.. yet they follow us for years without fading. perhaps because they are the purest version of what we once wanted before fear, expectation, and reality began washing over us all. so i hope your orchids bloom beautifully, and i hope, when your projects finally stand before you, they'd still feel like they belong to the child who first imagined them.

roses... people always praise their beauty, the way they stand tall and perfect in gardens. but they forget the thorns. roses grow thorns not to harm for pleasure, but to protect what has already been hurt once. what you wished for is not a rose in bloom, but a hand that is so wrapped tightly around the stem that the thorns are all you can feel. rage can keep something alive, yes .. but it also keeps it bleeding. to want to live just to watch someone die... that tells me the wound is still open. that whatever he did, it didn't end when he left. it followed you, settled inside you, and learned your name. but hell is not a place you drag someone to. it is what happens when you tie your existence to another person’s destruction. if you chain yourself to his suffering, you will never know when it was finally over, or whether it ever truly was.

lily of the valleys are truly the most beautiful flowers.. i agree with your vision of them! so when you say your wish was to please them... i wonder if it was truly your wish at all. or if, somewhere along the way, you simply forgot you were allowed to want something for yourself. by then, that goal of yours will soon change too.

you're such a sweetheart! thank you so much <3 even if you dont get top 1, you'll always be the top 1 in many other peoples hearts and minds, we love you!

hi hi hi oomffff!!! ^_^ its been a while!

are you trying to hit on me ... ?

thank you very much! perhaps someday you'll be able to reach that dream of yours, even if it isn't the exact way you want it to be . <3